Our wrongful death case is officially settled.

Legally, I'm not allowed to speak about specifics. I will say it was less than we hoped, but that's part of the whole 'mediation' thing. We're all just glad it's finally over and done with.

Next week we go to speak to someone about structured annuities, which would give us money every year and help keep that money tax-free (as opposed to if we just took a lump some and invested it ourselves). Josh and I have some decisions to come to before then. Mainly, I think we want to move. Our neighborhood has been getting steadily worse since new landlords took over, so we need to get out. I need to get away from this place, because everywhere around Asheville is just too full of mom.

But we have time.

Thank you guys so, so much for all your prayers and support during all this.

♥

This weekend, my good friends tru2myart and moonstone_fae are Blogging for the Cure.

Sunday, several folks are going to be blogging every hour to raise money for Relay for Life. Tru and her daughters will be doing a charity walk next month.

Please check them out. They're both awesome writers and a day full of their insight promises to be fun all around. If you can spare a bit for the cause, that would be awesome of you too. If you want to participate, better hurry! I'm considering it, but we'll be having a first slumber party so it may just be the wrong weekend for me.

Ordinarily, today would be my birthday. Not today though, not really. I renounced it.

It's unconventional, I know. I've gotten several wonderful birthday wishes, and I'm very grateful and surprised to be remembered.

Why would someone renounce their birthday? It started as a joke, really. When Josh and I were picking wedding dates, we were waffling between April and May. Now, my mom's birthday was always right before Christmas, and quite frankly she always got gypped on presents. I joked that with our anniversary, Mother's Day, and my birthday all within a couple weeks of each other, maybe I'd just change my birthday.

Then everything with mom happened. Happy, overly-celebratory May kind of soured. Now our anniversary and Mother's Day will always be tied with her death. There's no way out of that. I think I actually forgot my birthday last year until Josh wished it to me. It sucked. People called for well-wishes, but everyone was still crying. It was just another anti-climactic day. Mom had always said birthdays didn't really matter once you got older. They're all just the same.

So, something about that little joke stayed with me and I decided it was a damned good idea. Josh and I actually argued for several months about this. He says it's a bit idiotic and you can't just up and change your birthday. Legally, I suppose he's right. I look at it like changing my name when I got married, though. Everything did change, and I'm a new Amanda. May is so overwhelmingly sad. Our anniversary, and Mother's Day (which she actually died on) will never ever again be as happy as they should be. I renounced the whole damned month, really. If there's supposed to be one day that's supposed to be about celebrating and happiness and partying - for me - then I should get to pick a day that can be that.

It's liberating, really. Since I renounced it last year, I dedicated 2009 to The Year of the Birthday. I have to test-run these things to make sure I'm making an informed decision. Here's my criteria:

1. Not May

2. Nice weather, preferably grill weather (I got spoiled on Memorial Day weekend, what can I say? Of course, it's pouring today, so there you go.)

3. Can't use anyone living's birthday, unless they offer it

4. It has to gel astrologically – either with what I currently am, or with what I'd like to manifest into my life. For birth chart purposes, I'll still stick with having been born in Davenport at 4:20 pm.

So far I've had one test-birthday. I celebrated on April 27, which is a month early and was actually my due date. We had an absolute gorgeous day, and we went up to my sacred spot. I've considered myself twenty-eight since that first birthday this year.

I'm considering trying out June 3. It's just a week later, so still in the ballpark. Since I'm definitely very Gemini, I would just be switching months. I may try June 10, too, just to have another celebration. I was originally born on a Wednesday, which lines up this year, so I should try out the Wednesdays in my area. Lyz suggested I use Papa's birthday since he's not using his anymore. That was mom's dad, and his birthday was June 25 – right in between Lyz's and Josh's. I'm not sure if Josh wants me encroaching on his birthday, though.

My options are open. I'll be holding auditions through, I don't know, maybe October. I considered switching to my half-birthday, but it's too close to Thanksgiving and my ex-stepdad's birthday, so the Gemini-Sagittarius nemesis thing resonates for me. Better to stay clear of the holidays, although Halloween has always been my favorite, so I wouldn't mind snagging some of that.

So there you have it. And if I've inspired any of you to seek your own liberation, feel free to use May 27. It's open. There really is a benefit to having it both near Memorial Day weekend most of the time and at the end of the school year. It served me well for twenty-six years. I think I will do a little “thank you and goodbye” ceremony tonight, just to complete the circle. I'll let you know when we officially ring in the new one.

As those of you on my facebook learned yesterday, Eden managed to stick her face into a patch of poison ivy on our hike. She woke up yesterday with her poor face covered in it. Lots of Calagel and reiki/prayers/good thoughts really made it look much better before she went to bed.

And in her sleep, she couldn't help but scratch. Not only is it still on her face, she also now has a small trail running all the way down her body.

Please give her a little more of that good healing energy. I'll be washing her sheets in hot water again, and heading to the store soon to get her some benadryl.

Our first anniversary was really wonderful. Josh was actually in charge of the whole thing, and it was so nice to have him taking care of the day and excited about planning surprises for me. lahermite was kind enough to keep our kids for the night, so we had over 24 hours of kidless fun. We were supposed to go camping together, for the first time ever, but it keeps thunder-storming so that's been put on hold.

Josh wanted to get me a present, but since there's been no movement on the job front, I told him just going out on a real date was enough and not to waste money on me. Josh said, “Oh, I've got to get you something. Don't worry, you won't even be able to see it leave the account.” I knew he was up to something. Apparently he's been squirreling away money for some time, and he surprised me with a set of black pearls. I got a necklace, bracelet, and earrings. I adore black pearls, and I've always wanted some. They're so pretty!

After dropping the kids off in Hot Springs, we drove back to Asheville and went tent shopping. We have one small one, but we're trying to price family tents for the summer &/or our impending move. So we went shopping, marveling at how swiftly we were able to stop at several places. It's amazing what you can accomplish on time without two little ones to cart about! We even ended up catching an earlier movie than planned. We saw Wolverine, which was fairly good, and then went out to eat at Carrabba's. I'd been there before and enjoyed it, and have tried taking Josh on several occasions but it never worked out. Josh actually called and made our reservation days earlier, which is a first in our eight year relationship! It's a good thing, too, because come to find out, it was prom night.

Carrabba's was actually a pretty big disappointment, but that seems to be our karma whenever I get Josh to try a new place. I still had fun anyway, because Josh was all manly and sweet and ordered for me like we were an old married couple. He knew this week had been really hard for me, and he worked hard to make sure our anniversary was fun and happy. We talked about mom and our marriage a bit, but mostly we just talked about happy things. Josh makes me laugh.

I told him our day made up for not having any real anniversaries all those years, but that now he's set the bar pretty high for the rest of them.

We've been married for one year today. At this time last year, I still didn't even know if we were going to get married.

After rereading my marriage story, which was first shared in a friends-locked post here, I decided to share it again to mark the occasion. I'll keep this posted publicly, at least for a little while, so some of my non-lj friends and family can read it if they like. I can share it a little more now.


( Quite long )

( Pictures )

Eden got her first library card this week. We checked out an Encyclopedia of Reptiles & Amphibians (to learn about our lizard friend in the garden), an Encyclopedia Brown book, and another Little House book, These Happy Golden Years.

Then yesterday, Beltane, she up and declared, "We need to have a Boo Boo ceremony tonight." So I readily agreed and told her we'd try to have a fire that night. Later on though, Lyz called and invited us over to her new place (and made us dinner). I had forgotten I'd promised Eden a ceremony until she reminded me, so even though it was past bedtime when we got home, I told her we'd stay up and do one. It was too late for a big fire like we'd planned, but Josh lit a coal in his little rock fire-bowl thing he has. Eden ran in to get her basket, as she already had everything prepared!

She'd written four notes for Boo Boo (that's my mom, by the way). I didn't look at them since it was dark, but I saw they had drawings and stuff on them. Eden said she'd written them in secret ancient writings that only totems and guides can read. She said a prayer to start the ceremony, and then I shook my rattle to call in our guides. She gave a note to me and Josh, and she got two since sissy was asleep. We all said a word to mom and offered the notes to the fire, and it was really very beautiful. I could really feel her presence, and I told Eden what a proud grandmother she was. Eden said she could feel her hugs. I could too.

Oh my god, I am so sore. Twenty minutes of mostly stretching kicked my ass.

x-posted to flylady

This post is a continuation of my month-long commitment to healthy movement.

I've done really well today. I started by weighing and taking my measurements. I'm going to bite the bullet and actually share my 'before' measurements, I think, in a friends-locked post in fitfriends. I'll mostly be posting my health goals there, but I may start posting my “Ta da” lists here on my own blog.

Thanks to satoribee, I've signed up at the Calorie Count website. I've monitored fat before, but I've always just kind of ignored calories. Well I started poking around that site, and I decided to log my info and see what it suggested. I'm not sure if my scale is 100% right, but today I also (re)started logging my food and exercise. Calorie Count keeps track of how much I'm taking in and burning, which I find really helpful. And logging food and seeing how healthy it is has already made me more accountable today.

I was pretty sad to see that they calculated my BMI at 30.5. Apparently someone my height, frame, and age should have a BMI between 20-25. This makes me “moderately overweight”. Well, that's better than the last time I figured my BMI, which I distinctly remembered used the word “obese”.

Also, my morning coffee apparently gives me about 160 calories. I finally did twenty minutes of real exercising, and I found out it only burned 101 calories. At least I've learned that I usually burn 1900 per day just by existing.

I also was classified as an 'Excessive Eater', which was no surprise. Food is a big emotional crutch for me. I need to figure out a way to work through that if a healthy lifestyle is ever going to become a reality. I can't just get sad and say “Screw it all, I can eat a few donuts if I feel like it.”

Today, on Day 1 of Moving in May, I did:

10 minutes stretching/warm up
12 push ups
12 crunches
12 leg lifts
12 squats
24 jumping jacks
5 minutes walking/stretching cool down

I was going to take a walk later too, but Lyz has invited us over to see her house. I've done well with my intake today, so I think that's a good start for exercising. We're going to grill out tomorrow, so I may have to do a bit more exercise tomorrow to offset my indulgence. Still, I felt pretty good after my work out, and I stayed active for another 30 or 45 minutes of house blessing.

Edit: Ironically enough, Josh just got home with donuts. Funny, Universe.

(I'm trying to post more; can you tell?)

I've been in a pretty creative groove lately. I don't know if it's maybe because I've been sticking to my Flying and movement makes me motivated. Blood and oxygen flowing back to the brain and whatnot. Whatever the reason, over the past few weeks I've dug out my NaNo WonderSaga and started working on it yet again.

I've revamped my idea and simplified it quite a bit. This meant redoing my spaceship plans, but I enjoy world building and I think drawing initially kick-started the writing. So far I just completed phase one last night, which is my rough draft of the ship. It's now one torus divided into six regional sections (not counting null-g), and I've a rough idea of the main city, waterways, forests, farms, etc. I've pinpointed where each character I have so far lives. I copied my character info from last year and have started inputting extras that I'd overlooked.

As soon as I've filled out my torus with the bare bones of who needs to run it, I'll actually start writing. I may start with character bios or vignettes at first and just kind of get a feel for the world. Most of you fine folks who gave me permission to immortalize you now have a little spot of your own on Akupara.

I'm a co-administrator of the Women Writing in Asheville meetup group. (My buddy cranesinmybrain is the main mod.) Tomorrow will be my second time leading the group. We've been hearing a lot of good stories lately, and I'm going to try to have something written to share. If I don't make it by tomorrow, definitely by the next meetup.

On January 31, I wrote a friends-locked post titled Here's the Thing: I Have One Fat Ass. Out of that post came my community fitfriends, which is now in it's 15th week. After two months, we started over again from the beginning.

This is what I looked like at Christmas, a month before I started fitfriends:



This is what I looked like yesterday, which pissed me off when I saw it:



Not so good.

I've made some very healthy changes. I drink at least two big glasses of water every day now, and I'm clearing up my sinuses with the help of a neti pot, and I'm getting out of bed most days and doing something around the house or yard.

But I'm still snacking too much, and drinking way too much (which is a huge part of the problem, I believe). I still have awful trouble with my depression, which leaves me unmotivated and I tend to wallow and eat on my all-too-often “off days”.

Luckily for me, I've started getting back on track this past week and a half or so. Even when I can't find my motivation or energy, I set the timer and do something. Most of this has been focused on getting my house back in order. Now it's time to buckle down and really get me back in order. Flylady really helps me in so many ways, and it's working out just right now. My house is more tolerable, and Flylady has declared the May habit-of-the-month to be “Moving in May.” In April, I've made my bed everyday – and Josh has gotten up and covered it on many an off-day. I can really tell what a difference it's made in both of our attitudes after just a couple weeks. Well, for May I resolve to finally get myself together and, like thousands of other flybabies everywhere, I'll dedicate at least fifteen minutes a day to moving and getting healthier.

I've been stretching more, and occasionally working in the garden or taking a family hike. Well the weather is definitely nicer now, and there's no excuse to be glooming around the house all day. And I have to say, that tv show “Biggest Loser: Couples” has really been helping motivate me to do something about my predicament. Looking at their before and after pictures of their last sixteen weeks – they look freaking awesome, and here I can't stop gaining! But yes I can. I will. The very least I can do is work out for fifteen minutes every day and see if that helps my energy and mental/spiritual levels.

I've been looking at this site, Cool Running: The Couch-to-5k Running Plan, which is a two-month commitment. I like walking, and I always wished I could run (isn't that great?). I hate working out in front of people, but going for a walk/run will be good for me – and Achaiah, if I take her chubby butt along. I also have been trying to get back to being able to do push ups and sit ups. It's heartbreaking that I can't anymore. So in addition to walking actively again, I'm going to get in “drop and give me 20” shape again. My arms start buckling around four these days. That's sad.

I thought I was dedicated before. Well I'm really dedicated now. I've bitten the bullet and posted before-fat-ass-pics. I promise to move every day in May, even my bad days. I will make real weekly goals that challenge me.

Feel free to make this jump with me! Can you dedicate yourself to fifteen minutes of healthy movement every day for one month? If you want, come over to fitfriends, where I'm so lucky to get a lot of feedback and support. Feel free to check in on me. I owe you a picture on May 31.

I finally started that cut I've been talking about since New Year's-ish. Mostly I cut a bunch of communities, but also a few friends who seem to have left LJ. I haven't gone through and cut all of the dead journals, but I do plan to. I'm basically dropping anyone I haven't heard from in the past year or so, especially since mom's death.

I've enjoyed the time I've spent with everyone. If I drop you and you wish I hadn't, please let me know. If you feel like moving on, feel free to go with my blessing.

Thanks!

I've had the roughest year ever, and part of that roughness was the loss of my spiritual home. Both of them, really, if you count church and mom – and maybe I should. I've been slowly but surely getting back on track. However, I think it's time to take advantage of that 'wherever two or more gather' energy and get back on my spiritual track right now.

I've really only celebrated Lent once before, and that was years ago. (I 'gave up' cussing.) Mostly this round, I want to focus on my inner healing, like I imagine Jesus did during his forty day fast. I'm kind of a metaphysical Christian. I don't necessarily think Jesus was 'tempted by Satan'. I think everyone has their demons, and he faced his and overcame them and became a vehicle for the Christ spirit. So I want to face mine and overcome them, and hopefully get more aligned with the Christ spirit.

An interesting thing about Lent that I only learned last year, or perhaps it was the year before, was that the Sundays during Lent don't actually count. They're feast days. This awareness may help me stick with my own program for forty days, knowing that you're actually supposed to have a day of respite and celebration each week.

As part of my fitfriends community, I've been making goals to focus on each week and have slowly been integrating more healthy habits into my life. One of the things I've been doing is logging my food intake, and I'm trying to learn about healthier diets and make changes that I and my family can stick with. My Lent project will overlap this a bit, and I'm going to be focusing on both physical and spiritual changes.

Here are my Lenten goals:

1. Wean myself from coffee/caffeine in preparation for fasting
2. Start baking more healthy desserts to replace Little Debbie addiction
3. Eat more immune-boosting foods
4. Increase my water intake
5. Practice portion control
6. Fast Easter weekend

7. Do a Reiki self-healing every day
8. Stretch daily
9. Meditate for at least 5 minutes daily
10. Meditate with the sunrise & with the moon at least once a week
11. Perform a healing for someone else, or for Gaia, daily
12. Study and honor Jesus daily

Wow, thank you guys for all the awesome energy! My back has improved so much so darn fast.

Josh went to the drugstore to get me a heating pad, and left me with a staff in case I had to hobble to the bathroom. I intended to do just that, and suddenly I was able to walk better again! I still had to use the staff, but I'm shuffling quite quickly now, and I can even walk around without it as long as I go carefully.

I felt so much better, I was even able to make the bed and fold up the laundry piled on the couch. Our laundry basket is actually full and sitting on the floor. I couldn't do those, because I still can't bend over to pick it up, but I got everything that was already sitting up on the couch.

Josh has returned with my heating pad, and it's really helping too. Still, after having such a hard time yesterday and an even worse time this morning, I did not expect such drastic improvement. I chalk it up to you all beaming greatness my way. Thanks so very much!

x-posted to unsentletters

Oh, Mom,

I love you so much, and I'll never stop.

So many people prayed for you. I only hope you're at peace. I'm getting there.

♥

your eldest

As mentioned in my earlier post, we taught the girls about Winter Solstice this year. Since I already told you my plans, I'll just share this as a picture post! This is actually the first big ceremony that we all held together as a family. (Josh isn't usually the ceremonying type.)

We started by taking a piece of paper, cutting it into fourths, and 'writing out the darkness' of this year that we wanted to offer to the fire. The girls immediately got sad about Boo Boo, and I reminded them of our healing ceremony at her house and said that now we can throw all that sadness in the fire if we wanted. Then we took the papers outside to the fire, and they were excited to stay up late and get to go outside for this.

Getting it out:



( Thanking the dark for it's time, and welcoming the light )

Found Dogs Update:

After keeping them two days, we began to notice some medical problems that needed dealt with. I emailed back everyone who contacted me, apologizing for wasting their time and explaining why we didn't feel it was in good conscience to give them out on a free site. None of the rescues would help us, so we ended up taking them (just about an hour ago) to the Humane Society. They were our last option, due to their use of euthanasia, but they are professionals who promised to give them medical care, work on the female's aggression, and try to make them placeable. The first 72 hours will be care only, and then they'll try to place them. They say the male should find a home quickly, as sweet as he is, and the female should be easy to place if they can get her over her aggression.

Thanks for all your help and prayers! I feel much better knowing professionals are taking care of these pups.

Also, if you just happen to be coming by from my email sig link - stop getting pissy that I won't give you the dogs. We have their best interests at heart. When you take it personally and cop a tude, it makes us all the more certain that you do not.



LiveJournal/Cyberworld Update:

I've found old "friends" and contacts dating from over ten years ago. I'm carrying around years-old emails from ex-boyfriends and ex-crushes. This weekend I am doing a TOTAL cyber clear out. If I haven't heard from you recently (oh, say since my personal shit began hitting the fan), then I will be removing you from my cyber life.

If you really want to stay, let me know. It's all cool.

{Also, since it's come up: If you're one of the somehow innumerable friends who are either getting married or have a mother in dire condition, I hope you know that I love you and am squeeing/praying for you as appropriate. I still find it hard to find words, so I haven't really been commenting. That's not because I don't care; it's because I care too much.}

Anyways, I'm letting it all go. It's nothing personal at all. I've realized I'm carrying around massive cyber baggage and it will all be culled...



Real World Update:


...in anticipation of a very important releasing & healing ceremony I have planned for my mom's birthday. I've gotten steadily worse, and I'm going to reclaim control of my life.

If I disappear, it's only til I feel better. I considered scrapping everything and starting new, but I just shelled out a pretty penny to get a permanent account. So yeah, I'm here permanently. Breaks are good though. We'll see how it goes.

So if I seem irky, callous, or have dropped you from IM or networking sites and broken your heart, I'm awfully sorry. I'm just trying to give myself a fresh start for the new year.

As always, if you want to leave first, feel free. I know I suck lately.

I was born with sexual complexes, and what I wasn't born with, I inherited. I was terrified of men as a child, I lost boyfriends due to not being able to hold hands (let alone kiss!), and I had no sexuality for a while. Sex was dirty, gross, and overwhelmingly scary.

I was, however, a terrible flirt who crushed on boys relentlessly. My first boy crush was at age three - BJ from Merry Moppets Preschool. I had that problem of always being 'one of the guys' and crushing on boys who would never look at me in such a way. If one actually did, you couldn't imagine the stage fright and heart palpitations.

My first girl crush was when I was fourteen or fifteen. I never knew her name. I felt like Charlie Brown; she was just the little red-haired girl from gym. We didn't have the same class, but our classes were at the same time. I just watched her move the whole time, and I felt pretty bad about that because at that time, you know, I thought being gay was wrong. If sex was dirty and gross, then gay sex was icky squared.

I remember deciding that all needed to change. In retrospect, I imagine it was a healthy dose of adolescence, since I was fifteen years old and had only barely managed to force myself to hold a boy's hand. I liked boys. I loved boys, and that little red haired girl was pretty foxy too, so weren't all those feelings of love supposed to be a good thing? If it doesn't feel good, surely it's not worth all the angst.

My first kiss was unromantic. I didn't even particularly care for the boy. We were good friends and he liked me. I was new in school and he was friends with my group of friends and asked me to be his girlfriend with one of those cute little pass-it-on notes. I said yes, because let's face it, that was kind of sweet. Especially since I was a freshman and he was an older boy. I gave him a peck kiss or two on the way to the buses, but I ultimately broke up with him because I realized I just didn't like him enough to start kissing him more. It certainly helped shatter that fear and make way for my first real boyfriend.

I moved again (as I always did), but my heart belonged to the boy from down the road/best friend (as it always did) whom I had left behind. With him I found a true teenage stolen-moments-of-fumbling love. I still couldn't do it, you know, but making out and beginning that sexual awakening was a truly blissful thing that I didn't want to rush anyway. And it was with a boy I loved, and who loved me back!

My first time was pretty unromantic too, but it was with someone I was truly in love with. We lost our virginity to each other, which was a romantic notion, but since we were both nervous as hell, it didn't translate into the physical very well. All the same, I thought, Wowza! That was not bad at all. I imagine that could be pretty damn spectacular if we practice a bit. And practice we did. I wish my parents had been more open with me about those things, because I was not smart about it at all. Being virgins meant we knew we were clean, so spontaneous unprotected sex actually seemed romantic in my newfound state of idiocy. I'm pretty lucky, and glad I grew up fairly quickly after that. The boy ended up being quite a disappointment, but I wasn't sorry that I'd had a passionate romance with him. He was a fine choice at the time.

I never did get to sow my wild oats, but I have a husband who has whole-heartedly been with me as I come into my own adult sexuality. We have wonderfully uninhibited conversations and a willingness to experiment for each other. I'm glad to have someone I trust without a doubt, who is willing to explore almost any darn thing I want. We're both switches, which means we'll take turns as the dominant one in our play, and I really think I have the best of all worlds with him. Even though it makes him nervous, he's entertaining the possibility of having a play friend.

I'm still quite a Christian, but I've gotten over the hang-ups that often come with certain mainstream Christian dogma. I think love is a beautiful thing that can be happily shared, if shared safely and smartly. Sex is one of the few things that humans do instinctively, and it can be a primal, fierce bonding of flesh or it can be a spiritually powered joining of souls. It's to be celebrated, not castigated! Not regulated. Sex is a private thing between the people who want to share it with each other. Sharing it with more than one other is okay if that's what you like. Doing it by yourself is okay if that's what you like! (Seriously, give it a try. I guarantee you'll like.)

The only thing that is absolutely not okay is forcing sex – or your personal beliefs about sex – onto others. But even with people who have suffered sexual violence (and if you think you don't have friends like that, you're wrong), claiming back one's sexuality is a power and healing that is unrivaled. You can take a moment, but you can't take that underlying, primal, life-giving power.

You can also hide from that kind of power all your life, as I nearly did, but it's still there, pulsing through your veins with each breath and every beat of your heart. Believe me when I say that it's so very much more fun to own it.

Celebrate it.

Honor it.





This is my Week 11 entry for therealljidol. If you enjoyed, please give me some love this weekend when the polls open. Thanks!

The world's oldest person has died. As I read things like this in the headlines, I always say a little prayer and offer healing to the departed. I thought I would share and pass that on here.

I strongly believe that people's love/prayers/energy/thoughts help others as their souls cross over. I've been around birth a lot, and though I'm fairly new to death, they seem to me to be very similar as far as being life's biggest, strongest, most powerful transitions. I think my mom's crossing was extra powerful because so many people were praying for her. I think that kind of outpouring of love helps offset fear, pain, and confusion.

When I think of people like Edna Parker, who has lived longer than most of us could ever hope to, it brings with it a very humbling thought. Do you have any idea how many people she's impacted in her life?

She was a teacher before getting married and becoming a housewife, too, so once more with feeling: Do you have any idea how many people's she's impacted in her life?

I see how my three and five (and a half) year olds have impacted strangers, and I'm glad that (for the most part) we've instilled respect and common courtesy into them. I'm only twenty-seven (and a half) and I know I've had an impact on the world. It's also a humbling thought, but it's true for every one of us. Some, I've impacted badly. I've done my best to apologize and make up for those, and I've been all right with keeping daily maintenance on the forgiveness process. Some, I've impacted wonderfully. I know this because some of you have let me into your homes/births/hearts/families. (And believe me, that means a lot when I'm feeling down.) My mom was only fifty, and yet she had touched so many, and so deeply. Brenden Foster was only eleven, and yet his kindness and generosity of spirit is at this very moment continuing to feed homeless all over the world.

So it is my sincere wish that you take a moment when you hear about someone who's passed on, or right then and there when someone really impacts you, take that moment to give them the love, prayer, and support that they deserve. Pour it on out to their families and everyone else who's ever been blessed by them. Even if you don't believe in the afterlife, just take a minute to give them a warm and fuzzy hug for their work here.